RSVPs and Non Responders

The process of planning a wedding comes with its share of challenges, and one of the most common stressors can be waiting for those all-important RSVPs to arrive. What can be even more nerve-wracking and frustrating???

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I have a Wedding Invitation Timeline article and that breaks down how to handle your timing accurately.

Affiliate: Etsy – Invitation Template

Here’s a guide on how to handle late RSVPs with grace and ease.

Firstly, it’s important to understand that people usually don’t delay their RSVPs out of malice. More often than not, it’s simply a matter of forgetfulness or procrastination. Some genuinely assume you know they’ll be there. You tend to find that couples who have just gone through the process will respond most promptly as they understand the pain. Sometimes one in the couple thinks the other has done it and visa versa. Therefore, try not to take it personally if some of your guests are slow to respond.

  • Set a Realistic RSVP Deadline

To avoid last-minute chaos, set your RSVP deadline well ahead of when you actually need the final headcount.Normally, many send out their invitations 2 months before the wedding with an RSVP date of 2-3 weeks before the actual date. I think this should be earlier. I recommend sending it out two and half months before and with an RSVP date of 5 weeks before the wedding. A few reasons for this is that most of you will do your final details meeting 1 month before the big day with your venue. You don’t have to give ‘final final’ numbers until maybe 48 hours in some venues. Also, you need to allow for, what I call, ‘Chasing Time’….yes, there is no other glamorous way to put it. Also, numbers can change right down to the final hour with guests being unable to attend. 

If the RSVP deadline has come and gone and you’re still missing responses, it’s perfectly acceptable to send a gentle reminder. You could send a friendly text or make a quick call. A simple message like, “We hope you can make it to our wedding! We’re finalising numbers, and would really appreciate it if you could let us know if you’re able to attend,” (insert smiley face / passive aggressive emoji)

If you’re struggling to get a response, don’t hesitate to enlist help from your wedding party or family members. Often, a message from a mutual friend or a family member can encourage a guest to send their RSVP. For example, if its your cousin on your mums side, put mum on the case!

  • If They Arrive On The Day

Sometimes, despite all your efforts, you might still end up with some unexpected guests. Your venue will be able to adapt as they are well used to this. You shouldn’t take on the stress of the situation. Discuss this possibility with your venue beforehand, so they’re prepared for any surprise additions. Let them know if there are any RSVP’s you haven’t heard from yet.

In conclusion, it’s crucial to handle the situation of late RSVPs with as much sanity as possible….Wine really helps.

Remember, ‘Aint no shame in the RSVP chasing game! It seems like a really stressful moment at the time but trust me, it won’t affect your day and it will be a distance memory!

I hope these tips help!

Sara x

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