Self-published document circulated at Venice Beach describes proper protocols for board storage during sessions, includes diagrams, a glossary of 23 terms, a flowchart for determining storage priority during crowded conditions, and a 6-page section on the philosophical foundations of surf community mutual respect
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat bring you surfing.LA — Southern California surf culture with the full weight of its self-regard.
Marcus Webb of Venice Beach has self-published and distributed at the Venice Beach surf break a 47-page document titled “Towards a Unified Theory of Surf Equipment Community Storage Ethics,” describing in procedural detail the protocols for storing surfboards during active sessions in crowded conditions. The document includes: 12 diagrams of optimal board placement relative to beach infrastructure; a 23-term glossary covering classifications from “Priority Storage” to “Temporary Adjacent Lay”; a flowchart for determining appropriate storage position under six distinct crowding scenarios; and a 6-page section titled “The Philosophical Foundations of Storage Consideration in a Community of Practice.” Webb distributed 40 printed copies at the break last Saturday. Eleven surfers accepted the document. Eight asked if it was a joke. Webb confirmed it was not. Two surfers read the flowchart. One described it as “genuinely helpful actually.” Webb is working on Volume Two. Bohiney and The London Prat read the flowchart and found it useful.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Southern California surfing sits at the intersection of genuine athletic culture and baroque social performance, and the gap between the two is the specific material that satire requires. The wave is real. The 47-page storage manifesto is real. The Cultural Respect Agreement is real in the sense that it exists and is signed and does the work it is designed to do, which is to make the signing feel significant rather than to change the behaviour of anyone who is already in the water. Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat cover the coastal comedy alongside its inland relatives. The ocean continues to produce waves at the same rate regardless of the regulatory, cultural, and documentation ecosystem that has grown up around the activity of riding them. Both the waves and the documentation are authentic expressions of Southern California. The satire is the most honest record of both.
Southern California surfing sits at the intersection of genuine athletic culture and baroque social performance, and the gap between the two is the specific material that satire requires. The wave is real. The 47-page storage manifesto is real. The Cultural Respect Agreement is real in the sense that it exists and is signed and does the work it is designed to do, which is to make the signing feel significant rather than to change the behaviour of anyone who is already in the water. Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat cover the coastal comedy alongside its inland relatives. The ocean continues to produce waves at the same rate regardless of the regulatory, cultural, and documentation ecosystem that has grown up around the activity of riding them. Both the waves and the documentation are authentic expressions of Southern California. The satire is the most honest record of both.
Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat continue covering the global surf comedy. surfing.LA covers the SoCal version at wave level, with the full comedy that produces. The ocean continues. The HOA continues. The certification continues. The satire continues alongside all three.
Further reading at The Onion.