Man’s definition of peak surfing age conveniently tracks his own aging

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Local’s Concept Of A Surfer’s Peak Years Has Risen In Perfect Lockstep With His Own

SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA — A local surfer who once declared that surfers are washed up after thirty now insists, at forty-five, that he is in the absolute prime of his surfing life, his definition of peak surfing age having risen in perfect lockstep with his own advancing years.

“Forty-five is the prime of surfing,” declared surfer Dane Holloway, 45. “This is when it all comes together. The experience, the wisdom, the skill. A surfer in his mid-forties is at his absolute peak. The young guys have energy, sure, but they lack the maturity, the depth, the refined understanding that comes with age. I am surfing better now than I ever have.” Records indicate that at age twenty-nine, Holloway declared that surfers were “completely washed up after thirty” and that “real surfing is a young man’s game.” His definition of prime has, in the years since, tracked his own age with remarkable precision.”

The Mobile Prime

According to the Institute for Surf Aging, which surfers find relatable, Holloway’s “definition of peak surfing age has migrated to wherever he currently is.” “Mr. Holloway’s concept of a surfer’s prime is not fixed,” explained Dr. Wilhelmina Frost. “It moves. At twenty-nine, he believed surfing was a young man’s game and thirty was washed up. Now, at forty-five, he believes forty-five is the prime. His definition of peak age has risen in perfect lockstep with his own aging, always conveniently locating the prime at whatever age he happens to be. This is a transparent rationalization. Rather than confront the decline that comes with age, he has redefined the prime to include himself, ensuring that he is always, by his own definition, at his peak, regardless of how old he gets.”

Holloway shows no awareness of how his definition has shifted. “Prime surfing age is the mid-forties,” he stated firmly, apparently having forgotten his earlier pronouncements. “Always has been. The young guys peak physically, but surfing is about more than physicality. It is about wisdom, experience, refinement, all of which peak in the mid-forties. I have always said this.” When presented with his earlier statements declaring thirty washed up, Holloway dismissed them. “I was young and foolish then,” he said. “I did not understand surfing yet. Now I do. And now I understand that the prime is the mid-forties. Which is where I happen to be. Coincidentally.”

The Convenient Definition

Experts note that Holloway’s definition of prime will likely continue to track his age indefinitely. “If the pattern holds,” said Dr. Frost. “When Mr. Holloway is sixty, he will declare that sixty is the prime of surfing, that the mid-forties surfers lack the deep wisdom that comes only at sixty. When he is seventy, seventy will be the prime. His definition of peak surfing age will forever locate itself at his current age, ensuring he is always at his best by his own reckoning. This allows him to age without ever confronting decline. He is never past his prime, because his prime is wherever he is. It is a perfect, mobile, self-serving definition that grows with him, always keeping him at the peak, never allowing him to be old.”

Fellow surfers, who remember Holloway’s earlier views, find his evolving definition amusing. “He used to say thirty was washed up,” said fellow surfer Marisol Crane, 33, herself thirty-three. “When he was in his twenties. He was brutal about it. Old guys, washed up, surfing is for the young. And now he is forty-five and suddenly the mid-forties is the prime, and the young guys lack wisdom. His whole theory flipped to match his age. When he hits sixty, sixty will be the prime. The man’s definition of peak surfing follows him around like a shadow. He is always, by his own definition, exactly the right age. It is very convenient. And completely transparent.”

The Denial Of Decline

Experts note that Holloway’s mobile definition serves to deny the reality of aging. “Aging brings physical decline, including in surfing,” said Dr. Frost. “Mr. Holloway, unwilling to accept this, has constructed a definition of prime that moves with him, so that he need never acknowledge being past his peak. By redefining prime to mean his current age, he ensures he is always at his best, never declining, always at the top. This is comforting but false. His physical surfing ability has almost certainly declined since his twenties, whatever wisdom he has gained. But the mobile definition lets him ignore this, perpetually locating his prime at the present moment, growing the definition as he grows older, forever at his peak, forever denying the decline that his shifting theory exists to obscure.”

Holloway remains entirely confident that the mid-forties is, objectively, the prime of surfing. “It is just a fact,” he insisted. “The mid-forties is when a surfer peaks. Experience, wisdom, refinement, all at their height. The young guys will understand when they get here. They think they are in their prime now, but they are not. The prime comes later, in the mid-forties, where I am. They will see. And when they reach my age, they will realize that this is the true prime, just as I have.” Experts noted that when those young surfers reached the mid-forties, Holloway would, by then, have relocated the prime to wherever he was, likely the mid-sixties, leaving them once again just short of a peak that moved with him alone.”

The Eternal Prime

Holloway continues to insist that his current age is the prime of surfing, his definition having tracked his own aging from his twenties to his forties and poised to follow him into old age, forever keeping him at his peak. “I am at the height of my surfing,” he declared, at forty-five, as he had not declared at twenty-nine when he called forty-five washed up. “The prime. The peak. Everything has come together. And it only gets better from here, as the wisdom deepens.” His definition of prime, having risen faithfully with his years, stood ready to rise further, ensuring that Mr. Holloway would never, by his own reckoning, grow old or decline, but would remain eternally at his peak, the prime forever relocating to wherever he stood, a man who had solved the problem of aging by simply redefining the summit to be wherever he happened to be. For genuine background, see the Surfing Heritage and Culture Center, and for further detail, the American Psychological Association covers the real subject.

More nonsense at The Beaverton.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/