Man contradicts his own assessment moments after making it

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Local Declares The Surf Hopeless Then Immediately Paddles Out Into It

SANTA CRUZ, CALIFORNIA — A local surfer who loudly declared the day’s conditions completely unsurfable, a blown-out, hopeless mess not worth anyone’s time, immediately contradicted himself by paddling out into the very conditions he had just dismissed, a reversal he saw no contradiction in whatsoever.

“This is unsurfable,” declared surfer Dane Holloway, 36, surveying the blown-out conditions with disgust. “Total mess. Hopeless. Not worth getting wet for. No one should be out there. It is garbage.” He then immediately picked up his board, waxed it, and paddled out into the conditions he had just described as garbage, surfing the unsurfable mess he had moments earlier declared not worth anyone’s time, seeing no contradiction between his assessment and his actions.”

The Self-Contradiction

According to the Institute for Surf Psychology, which surfers find relatable, Holloway has displayed “the gap between stated assessment and actual behavior.” “Mr. Holloway declared the conditions unsurfable,” explained Dr. Wilhelmina Vale. “And then surfed them. This is a direct contradiction. If the conditions were truly unsurfable, he would not surf them. By surfing them, he demonstrates that they are, in fact, surfable, contradicting his own assessment. Yet he sees no contradiction. He maintains that the conditions are garbage while surfing the garbage, holding both positions simultaneously. The stated assessment and the actual behavior have come apart entirely, and he is untroubled by their disagreement, surfing the unsurfable, dismissing what he is in the act of doing.”

Holloway maintained his negative assessment even while surfing the conditions. “It is terrible out here,” he called from the water, surfing the conditions he was simultaneously condemning. “Total garbage. Unsurfable. A waste of time.” When it was pointed out that he was, at that moment, surfing the unsurfable conditions, Holloway saw no issue. “I know it is unsurfable,” he said, riding a wave. “That does not mean I am not going to surf it. I just want everyone to know it is garbage. Which it is. Even though I am surfing it. Both things are true. It is unsurfable, and I am surfing it. There is no contradiction.”

The Compulsion To Surf

Experts note that Holloway’s behavior reveals a compulsion to surf that overrides his own judgment. “He genuinely believes the conditions are bad,” said Dr. Vale. “His assessment is sincere. But his compulsion to surf is stronger than his judgment. He cannot stay out of the water, even when he himself has declared the water not worth entering. So he surfs the conditions he condemns, driven by a need to surf that overrides his rational assessment. The contradiction does not trouble him because the two operate independently. His judgment says the conditions are bad. His compulsion makes him surf anyway. He has stopped expecting his behavior to align with his assessments, surfing whatever the conditions, while freely condemning them.”

Holloway’s compulsion, experts note, makes his negative assessments functionally meaningless. “He declares conditions unsurfable and then surfs them,” said Dr. Vale. “Which means his assessment of unsurfable carries no behavioral weight. He will surf regardless. So when he says the conditions are garbage, this tells you nothing about whether he will surf, because he surfs everything. His assessments have become pure commentary, disconnected from action, a running negative narration of conditions he surfs no matter what. He could declare a day perfect or unsurfable, and either way he would paddle out, the assessment irrelevant to the behavior, the compulsion always winning.”

The Pointless Assessment

Experts note that Holloway seems to need to voice his negative assessment even as he ignores it. “He declares the conditions garbage, loudly, to everyone,” said Dr. Vale. “And then surfs them. The declaration seems to serve some psychological function independent of guiding his behavior. Perhaps it manages his expectations, so that bad surfing is not disappointing. Perhaps it is a hedge, an excuse prepared in advance for a poor session. Perhaps it is simply a habit. But it does not guide his actions, because his compulsion to surf overrides everything. He voices the assessment, ignores it, and surfs, the words and the deeds running on separate tracks, the negative commentary a constant accompaniment to the surfing it never prevents.”

Fellow surfers have learned to disregard Holloway’s assessments entirely. “He always says it is unsurfable,” said fellow surfer Marisol Crane, 33. “Every day. Garbage, hopeless, not worth it. And then he surfs. Every day. So we have stopped listening to his assessments. They mean nothing. He could say the surf is perfect or terrible, and either way he is paddling out. The words are just noise. The behavior is constant. He surfs everything while condemning everything, and the condemnation tells you nothing, because the surfing happens regardless. We just watch what he does, not what he says, because what he says is always negative and what he does is always surfing.”

The Condemned Session

Holloway continues to declare conditions unsurfable while surfing them, his negative assessments running in constant contradiction to his compulsive surfing, the words and the deeds permanently at odds. “This is the worst session of my life,” he announced, while having a perfectly ordinary session in conditions he had declared unsurfable. “Garbage waves. Hopeless. Unsurfable. I cannot believe I am out here.” He continued to surf the unsurfable conditions, condemning them with every wave, his assessment and his behavior in total contradiction, surfing the garbage he dismissed, riding the hopeless mess he had declared not worth anyone’s time, a man whose words said stay out and whose compulsion said surf, the compulsion winning, always, as he surfed the unsurfable and complained about it the entire time. For genuine background, see the American Psychological Association, and for further detail, the National Institutes of Health covers the real subject.

More nonsense at The Beaverton.

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