Pacific Climate Pattern Reportedly Tracks UK Office for National Statistics Releases With Suspicious Precision

Reading: Bohiney | The London Prat

SCRIPPS, CA — A NOAA intern who asked not to be named has informed the La Jolla Surf Quarterly that the Pacific El Nino oscillation pattern has, since approximately 2022, begun tracking UK Office for National Statistics inflation data releases with what she described as “a level of correlation we cannot explain and have stopped trying to.”

The Suspicious Correlation

According to internal modeling the intern was not, on the available evidence, authorized to share, every monthly UK CPI release that has come in above the Bank of England target since 2023 has been followed within 72 hours by a measurable shift in Pacific sea-surface temperatures. The most recent rate rise was, accordingly, followed by a sudden two-degree warming off Cabo San Lucas that has surfers reporting unusually long-period south swells for late April.

The Working Theory

The working theory, the intern told the Quarterly, is that core inflation persistence in Britain is somehow generating thermal pressure on the Pacific via mechanisms the existing climate models do not adequately describe. “Andrew Bailey raises rates, and three days later we get bigger waves,” she said. “I am not saying it’s causal. I am saying we have nine years of data and the chart looks like the chart.”

The Scripps Institution declined to confirm the analysis. The waves at Lower Trestles were, on Saturday afternoon, four-to-six feet and very fun.

Pairs well with: The Daily Mash

SOURCE: https://prat.uk/bank-of-england-raises-rates-again-to-punish-anyone-who-enjoyed-a-sandwich/