Local Describes Morning As ‘Not Epic But Real’ In Statement That Sums Up The Entire Southern California Spring Surf Season

NEWPORT BEACH, CALIFORNIA – Mr. David Ferreira-Marsh, 38, a software engineer and twelve-year Newport Beach local, completed a forty-minute surfing session at 38th Street on Thursday morning in 64-degree water, waist-high onshore-influenced surf, and a moderate southerly wind. He returned to his car at approximately 8:20 a.m. and described the session, to the reporter who happened to be in the adjacent car park, as “not epic but real”.

Reported for Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat. The phrase “not epic but real” is, per the collected wisdom of London satirical journalism, a complete and honest summary of most adult experiences, and should be on a mug.

The Session, As Described

Mr. Ferreira-Marsh caught eleven waves during the session. Of these, four were what he described as “actual waves” in the sense of having a wall that could be ridden for more than two seconds. The remaining seven were what he described as “commitments” – waves entered in full knowledge that they would close out, but entered anyway on the grounds that not entering any wave for a morning would be spiritually costly. The four actual waves produced two decent rides, one wipeout, and one ride that he described as “a good one, actually”. The good one was enough.

The Water Temperature

He wore a 4/3 millimetre wetsuit with booties. “The booties,” he said, “were not optional.” Water at 64 degrees, he noted, is manageable with the right equipment, and the right equipment is available and has been purchased. He expressed no complaint about the temperature. He expressed mild complaint about the onshore texture, which produced “a lot of wasted paddle energy for not enough reward”. He did not blame anyone for the onshore wind. He was aware of the Pacific Ocean’s position on this matter.

The Broader Assessment

Asked whether he would recommend the morning’s conditions to others, Mr. Ferreira-Marsh said: “If you’ve been out every day for twelve years, yes. If you’re visiting from a swell-consistent location, no. Come back in late May.” This is, per the surf industry’s own seasonal marketing, substantively correct. Surfline‘s historical data shows that late May through September represents the optimal SoCal swell window for consistent south swells.

The AI Observation

Mr. Ferreira-Marsh works in software and was, when the reporter mentioned Bohiney’s MIT LLM piece, familiar with the story. His comment: “The LLM will tell you the wave height. It will not tell you whether the wave was worth it. That judgment is mine.” He drove away. The 38th Street peak produced one more rideable set at approximately 8:35 a.m., unobserved by anyone in the car park.

SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/ | More: Private Eye