Once-in-a-Decade Swell Squandered as Surfers Spend Four Hours in Group Chat Debating Options Before Choosing Wrong
The Perfect Swell: Available Everywhere, Accessed by Nobody Decisively
A long-period northwest swell generated by an El Nino-enhanced storm system produced what forecasters described as ‘once-in-a-decade conditions’ across virtually every surf break in Southern California last Thursday, a meteorological coincidence so rare and so generous that the surfing community responded to it by spending the morning in a group chat with forty-seven members arguing about where to go until the swell peaked, briefly remained perfect, and then began fading at approximately the moment the group reached a decision that twelve of the members immediately disputed.
The group chat, a WhatsApp thread called ‘SURF CREW ??’ that was created in 2019 and has produced approximately four thousand messages of which roughly eight hundred resulted in anyone actually surfing, began at 4:47 AM when someone posted the Surfline forecast with three fire emojis. By 6:30 AM the group had considered and rejected Malibu (too crowded), Rincon (two hours away without traffic, three with), El Porto (works but the vibe is off), Trestles (crowded, and the walk), and a secret spot that one member mentioned but refused to name because the whole point is that it’s secret.
The Decision Timeline
7:15 AM: Consensus tentatively forms around Rincon. 7:22 AM: Someone checks traffic. Consensus dissolves. 7:45 AM: New consensus forms around El Porto with reluctant acceptance. 8:03 AM: Three members say they’re going to Malibu anyway. 8:15 AM: Swell begins dropping from ten feet to eight feet. 8:30 AM: First member arrives at El Porto, which is pumping. Posts video. Group chat erupts. 9:00 AM: Seven members arrive at El Porto. Swell is now seven feet and dropping but still excellent. 9:45 AM: Three members who went to Malibu confirm it was also excellent. 11:00 AM: Group chat begins debating whether they made the right call. This debate has no resolution mechanism and continues for three days.
The Lesson Not Learned
‘We do this every time,’ said group member and veteran surfer Pete Nakamura, forty-one. ‘Every big swell. The chat goes crazy, we argue for two hours, someone makes a unilateral decision and leaves, and the rest of us follow eventually and it’s always good wherever we go because it was a big swell and everywhere was good. The correct answer was always to leave immediately and argue later. We know this. We do not do this. I don’t know why.’
Swell forecasts at Surfline. Comedy: ClickHole.
SOURCE: http://prat.UK