Kiara Goold, Finn McGill Win By Actually Showing Up and Not Getting Cancelled

In a stunning upset at the 2025 Sunset Pro, competitors Kiara Goold and Finn McGill secured victories by employing a revolutionary strategy: surfing well and not being embroiled in social media scandals during the event.

“It’s a bold approach,” admitted contest director Barry Baseline. “Most surfers these days focus on their Instagram engagement metrics rather than actual wave riding. Kiara and Finn went old school—they just, like, surfed really good waves.”

The Sunset Beach event, known for powerful Hawaiian surf, saw both winners dominate their divisions through an unconventional combination of athletic performance, wave selection, and—most importantly—keeping their phones in their board bags during heats.

“I was worried I might get disqualified for not checking Twitter mid-heat,” Goold admitted in the post-event press conference. “But apparently you can still win surf contests through actual surfing. Who knew?”

McGill’s victory was equally improbable, achieved by focusing on critical maneuvers rather than cultivating the kind of controversies that get you apologies from surfing federations months later. “I considered paddling into a women’s heat to generate buzz,” McGill joked, “but my agent said that’s ‘career suicide’ now. So I just did some turns instead.”

The event featured challenging conditions at Sunset Beach, where waves can reach 15-20 feet during winter swells. “It’s almost like the ocean doesn’t care about your follower count,” observed World Surf League commentator Jake Obvious. “The waves just do their thing regardless of your social media strategy. Fascinating.”

Goold’s win in the women’s division was particularly noteworthy, as she managed to complete all her heats without anyone calling police, alleging assault, or issuing retractions. “I know, right?” she said. “I’m basically a ninja of not creating international incidents.”

The victory has sparked debate in the surfing world about whether competitive success should be measured by wave-riding ability or by how many organizations have apologized to you. “Traditionally, we’ve used a point system based on maneuvers,” explained judging coordinator Patricia Traditional. “But we’re considering a new hybrid format where your score is your wave points minus the number of people who hate you online.”

McGill’s approach to the final was described as “refreshingly free of drama.” He caught waves, executed turns, got scores, and won—a process so straightforward that organizers are considering it an anomaly requiring investigation.

“We’re not sure this is replicable,” admitted contest organizer Derek Chaos. “Finn’s strategy of ‘being good at surfing and not causing problems’ seems too simple. There must be a catch.”

Both winners received traditional Hawaiian leis, prize money, and the rare distinction of having their competitive achievements remembered longer than their controversies, mainly because they didn’t have any.

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SOURCE: Bohiney News